I don't remember who I was the conversation with or why, but I came to the conclusion that I should be able to rent Samuel L. Jackson.
Before you start thinking anything creepy, no it's not for nefarious purposes. He's not my type. That would be more like renting Ryan Gosling, but that's another story.
The great thing about Mr. Jackson is the way he can deliver the F-bomb. I don't know if there is a single movie I've ever seen him in that he didn't drop the mother curse word. Oh wait, there were the Marvel Comic movies, The Incredibles, Unbreakable and Star Wars. OK, so maybe there are a few movies. That's not the point...
Plus, I found this picture to more fully demonstrate my point. The one about how much he swears, not the about him not swearing in Star Wars. Obviously.
Now think about this...
You're having a bad day. I mean a really bad day and your car breaks down or maybe you just don't have one so you're stuck taking the bus. Some nimrod starts getting all up in your personal space. In steps Samuel L. Jackson:
"See you're assuming I won't shoot your sorry ass..." *
Totally worth the worth renting him right?!
Then there are those times when your boss is being unreasonable and making life miserable...
"Don't f*** with [your name] or I'll shove a lightening bolt up your ass!"**
This line would also be effective against bad dates, bill collectors and generally anyone you find bothersome. Mr. Jackson is all versatile like that.
|Has absolutely nothing to do with this post but pulled up|
in the Google image search for sharks and I was so
amused I had to share.
Another scenario: You need something to break the awkward silence caused by you just saying something monumentally retarded...
"Was that a goddamn shark broke through that door?"***
Tell me that wouldn't take the attention off of you!
No my dears, the question isn't why renting Mace Windu/ Nick Fury/ Frozone would be awesome. It's why wouldn't it be awesome?
I would like to point out that the three roles I just named him in, though simultaneously appealing to the child and the geek in me, are probably his sissiest roles. Except Do the Right Thing and I just pretend that movie doesn't exist. I'd also like to leave you with this picture of ale.
*The Long Kiss Goodnight
** Die Hard: With a Vengeance
*** Deep Blue Sea