Monday, September 5, 2011

How I Invented Pineapple Coke

It all started with me being pissy over a guy and supplementing my bad mood with copious amounts of thebloggess. Basically aforementioned formula = sarcastic and whinny Emily. Anyhow, I was asked to make a salad for the BBQ.

me: I protest making something I won't eat.

mom: Why won't you eat a tomato salad?

me: I don't like tomatoes, plus I'm not making the tomato salad, you are. I'm making the green salad.

mom: These are vine fresh tomatoes.

me: I don't like tomatoes.

mom: What's wrong with the other salad?

me: It's the wrong type of lettuce.

*Here's the part where I cut up the nasty iceberg lettuce and throw it in a bowl.

me: There, you have a salad.

mom: Not so fast, there are other vegetables to put in there.

me: I mentioned that I protest making something I won't eat right.

* Shuffle over to fridge and proceed to sort through "stay crisp" drawers.

me: You don't have any vegetables. These are all bad.

mom: Well wait, what's in there? There should be *insert random list because I wasn't really listening*

me: There's mold, mold and mushy mold.

mom: Well throw it out.

me: I will later.

mom: Do it now.

 *I threw a short tantrum here to everyone's amusement. However, I did not throw out the nasty veggies. It's a win for me.*

* Now I proceed to dig through the drawer of random goodies.

me: Why can't you just have a trail mix in here that I can.... GUMMY WORMS!

mom: Leave those alone.

me: But...but... GUMMY WORMS!

mom: No.

me: Fine, then I'm taking your chocolate and there's nothing you can do about it. Hey, I found a trail mix. It has chocolate chips in it.

mom: You better ask if anyone is diabetic.

me: Does anyone here have nut allergies?


me: I'll take that as a no.

Sara (my sister): I do.

me: Too late, also, you're a liar. Ok. I'm done now.

mom: *Throwing a handful of chopped tomatoes in the salad* No, put more stuff in there.

* In case you missed it, my mom just threw a handful of chopped tomatoes into a salad containing chocolate chips.

me: Ohh, pineapple!

mom: No, put the mandarin oranges in.

me: Mandarin oranges with tomato. I don't know.

mom: Get an opinion.

me: Hey guys, do you think tomatoes go with a salad that has chocolate chips and mandarin oranges?

*I will use this cat to demonstrate their reaction*

me: I'm taking the tomatoes out.

mom: But...

me: No, we already have a tomato salad we don't need them. Where's the can opener?

*Short tantrum from me as I look for can opener*

me: Success! I found it.

*I proceed to open the can of pineapple. Now I have pineapple juice at my disposal and there happens to be 2 liters of diet coke sitting right there.*

me: I'm making pineapple coke.

mom: You better not get into my coke or I'll slap you.

me: Done and done.

Sara: Did someone say pineapple coke?

me: OMG! You have to taste this! It's like the best thing ever.

The End


  1. @ Jeff, I love that as soon as I was done posting this and walked outside the first thing out of your mouth was, "This salad has M&Ms in it". Oh, what you didn't know then.
    @ Lainy, you should attend our parties. In all fairness, IDK you ever got an invite to this one.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...